Thursday, April 27, 2006

2 entries in a day?!

WOOOHOOOOOOOOOO....

what a record!!! 2 entries in a day!!! that's not my style but i gotta admit that the capacity of joy i have inside is immeasurable...

i'm totally, extremely, insanely euphoric!

obviously, NUS' package is much more pro in all aspects. to top it all off, the package was large [which probably boasts sincerity] whatever it is, the acceptance letter was uncalled for.

i thought i'd just settle for NTU but NO, now i'm spoilt for choice.....

so how? which should i settle for? this calls for an annual general meeting for PTE LTD. the fact that all 3 [shin, shou, tao] of us are now in the same shoes, same company, with the exact same excitement, gives good reason for a discussion. lol....

there are a billion things to be done after THEEEE decision is made. the most important of all will be none other than taking a decent picture for my matriculation card. [ for those who don't know a thing, it's a classic representation of pride and glory.....in my own accord of cus]

till then...i'm happy like hell~~~*

i felt my heartbeat

*i felt my heartbeat

i could almost hear my heartbeat despite the noise around me. it's like i've shut myself out from the outside world just for that moment. then, it all came back to me....everyone started moving again...it's like my wings broke and i fell flat to the ground.

i've always been fascinated by the way my mind works, especially towards the 'evergreens' of human heart: the difference between 'like' and 'love'. when will one ever stop loving? or, how will one know it's love? for one, how do you even tell 'like' and 'love' a part?

like me, i believe many people out there whether in love or not, may be chary of dealing with those questions in depth. sure enough, i'm just one of those people who doesn't reflect about it even though time is always on my side these days.

when asked about this subject, my answer varies widely to different people, at different times. but a fact i could never run away from was the unmistakable overtone of anticipation which lies beneath every answer i gave. life's good being single, life's even better being attached isn't it?
you could also turn it the other way round. ultimately, the chasm between singles and non-singles will continue in decades.......10 yrs down the road, when i'm happily married with children, my definition of love and like may be a whole new different story...

what will you do when you see someone you like, or may love on the streets? he's just like the character who leapt out of the television. unlike the utter disappointment of discovering a hand clasped to his right one, you can only find 2 shopping bags hooked onto it. a pair of black framed glasses sitting comfortably on his sharp nose, a white adidas watch haging loosely on his left wrist and a black mizuno sling bag over his shoulders.......he's not just another shopper in the building, he stood out from the crowd the moment he came down from the escalator.

and dumb ol' me had my eyes glued to him like i saw my favourite korean star......he probably noticed me staring at him but i can't really be sure. for that moment, it suddenly occured to me that maybe he's just the kinda guy i'm looking for. cool. the thing is, he doesn't exactly have the 'singaporean guy' look. in fact to me, i thought he was outta this world.

this is probably the so-called cliche "love at first sight". though i do gawk at those volleyballies back in the A'div days and get all looney over their very minute gestures, i can tell it's a whole new different feeling from those. my heart raced and my palms turned cold. and i just couldn't take my eyes off him. am i deprived? cus after 4 years of break i can actually imagine cob webs growing in the valves of my heart. it's just so funny cus i sound like i'm a woman in my 80s.

to think that i'm such a genius, i actually relied on tv and those far-fetced korean dramas to fill that empty heart of mine...sad....i can't help being honest about it. but somehow that wasn't a pretty idea either......the more i indulge in those dreamy, overrated, unrealistic dramas, the higher my expectations became. and just when i thought i may become so spoilt in my taste for guys, i saw HIM! i'm closer, by just a little bit.........

now that i have the time to sit down and think, maybe it's just a pleasant surprise, nothing worth celebrating about....i have a lifetime to meet good lookers but not everyone equates love. it's just mere liking and nothing else. i like him, but i don't know if i can love him yet right?

there are billions and zillions of population in the entire world and you and i are just a speck of dust from the universe's point of view....isn't it amazing how two persons of different character, background and upbringing meet and eventually fall in love? that's the most amazing thing in the world in my perception.

my conclusion: i'm in this point of my life whereby there's nothing much in particular to fulfill and just to borrow a neat line from jane austen's persuasion, " had no one to love"... what a queer resemblance to Anne's character. eventually, the captain wentworth in my life will appear and everything will be history. Happily Ever After.

~the end~

Thursday, April 20, 2006

how do u spell H-A-P-P-I-N-E-S-S???

***remember the "once in a lifetime opportunity" i've mentioned in the past entry???

wahahahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahahaaaaaaaa.......
hohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohooooo.........................
hehehehhehehehhehehehhehehehehehehheee.............
mmmmmmmmmmuuuaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa......
i got into NTU!!!!!!!.............................woooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhooooooooooooooooooooooo.....
isn't it cool?!?!??! iiiiiiiiii caaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnn''ttttttt beliiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeevvvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeeee IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


At LONG BLOODY LAST........i made it.

Thursday, April 13, 2006

catching up...

boring.....i ain't got the mood to blog these days because nothing great happened in particular..
i'm still pondering about what breakthrough events can occur in the last few months of my teenage life.

i could busy myself with work...and then shop all the money away...
i could visit the zoo with glyn to revive tt deprived childhood spirit...
i could sing every weekend till my lungs are dry and voice coarse like men...
i could try clubbing [ believe me, i've nv been to tt as yet ]...
i could just brew a good cup of coffee and sit before my pc blogging abt anything under the sun EVERY SINGLE DAY.

there's just THIS amount of things i can do...or so it seems...

i'm slowly acclimatising to the dull life.....

i can even hear it calling out to me late at night..." welcome to the boring world of 20s! as for those who are plagued with loneliness for more than 3 yrs, enter door no. 2 and kill urself...."

lol....and not not mention the eerily pleasant background music ringing incessantly and in an annoyingly soft tone.

okay, it isn't that bad. i know it's gonna be exciting and many of you are probably in my shoes at the moment. this is like our year of transition.
lots of changes will take place and we'll probably take flight to a brand new life ahead. whatever it is.....i'm looking forward but at this point in time, everything spells dumb to me.
i don't feel settled cus i just don't. i don't really know what to anticipate cus there's no clear answers as yet. i hate to wait.......it's killing me......
oh please please please let me know where i'm going asap so i don't have to worry so much....

ok....i gotta update on some stuff:

1) if any of you guys are reading this, this is for you...
it was really fun hanging out with u all and you guys changed so much. it's diff from our sec sch days....so childish. and the abt the "peng you" song....kinda touching but i was overwhelmed....lol....don't worry, my friend had a gd impression of u guys too.... meet up again k? i promise i won't be so awkward..

2) to my dearest li shan.....
hai~~~~~~~~~~~~ why must u leave us........................................................

3) i cut my hair..... i have mixed feelings abt it. oh well....it's an experiment.

Saturday, April 08, 2006

once in a lifetime opportunity

i just got a "wake-up" call from NTU today.....
nope i'm not accepted YET..BUT at least i'm seeing the slightest ray of light at the other end of the tunnel.
i had a chance of a lifetime: an interview
to many, this might be just another interview. they're probably oozing with confidence which fills right up their throat [maybe from the day they were born]. but to me, it's all over if i screw up.
that's definitely not what i'm looking forward to, honestly...i mean. who will want THAT to happen.
even if deep down, the very depth of my honesty still worships NUS, i can't be sure if that same loyalty can guarantee me a seat in exchange right? not that my grades are incompetent but no one can be absolutely sure where they'll land unless they get straight As right?
i'm hoping that everything will go well and that either can accept me asap cus i just cant contain this adrenalin rush anymore.....

Sunday, April 02, 2006

lousy casting

some shows have issues with their casting.

the female lead of the show "it started with a kiss" sucked miserably this time for trying to act cute n naive.

to me, it's like the nightmare all started the moment she opened her mouth. gross.

.....instead of feeling sorry for her pathetic character, i'm beginning to irk at every single thing she does. maybe it's because i don't like her as a person altogether. well, tt's beside the point. my point is, if it was someone like yang cheng ling [who obviously is a natural in acting cute], i wouldn't mind.

think the character just don't suit her at ALL. disgusting. now that i've watched a big half of it, i couldn't possibly stop cus i must know the ending. BUT, but but but.....i gotta continue to put up with her bloody spastic acting. man, even the villains in the show weren't that repelling. it's simply....urrrghhh...in chinese, we call in "dao3 wei4 kou3". EeEeEeeeeeee.....luckily, to compensate such a flaw, they did have nice songs, an acceptable [but highly predictable] plot, as well as the OTHER more appealing sidekicks. Oh, what makes a nice idol-drama without a kick-ass male lead right? precisely, tt's the only aspect which scored big time for the show---the MALE LEAD.

SO, no credits to tt retarded actress...i'm so sorry....but it's really bad acting, cus she tried far too hard and it's definitely unwelcoming....[she can try other shows though....i'm sure she'll pull off as an all-rounded actress less the act-cute attempts.]

and for the benefit of all living things, please don't pout. i really don't wana let anyone know what i had for breakfast.