words from a tv junkie

i love tv. i love watching tv. some people find it a waste of time and a social meltdown... Well, they're probably right but i have my reasons.

I was watching 5 episodes of Sex and the City yesterday night on HBO and it amazes me how even the opening tune got me all excited and purched on my couch like a primary school kid waiting for 'aunty peggy' from bookworm to start her presentation in the assembly hall.

I love sex and the city. gives us singles some room for imagination...inspiration...minus all the SEX that is. it's not applicable in my world yet. i'm talking about its subject matter like friendship, choices, relationships, dating, and LOVE.


Episodes like "they shoot all the single people, don't they?" are pinpoint reflections, though not absolutely bullseye, on the fear of singlehood that's secretly creeping into our lives, as uh, SINGLES. One moment i was like "oh...i'm so glad and consolated that it's a very real thing that singles are experiencing..i'm not alone in camp-lonely..." (sounds a bit ironic..) but then again, yuck, why should i feel consolated? i sure as hell don't wana be stuck in it just cus every other single women are in my shoes. i wana be out of it.

and then it proceeded to demonstrate how this thought of mine is acutely dangerous too. cus in our determination to spiral out of the vicious cycle of failed love, wrong love and non-existant love, we fall into a bigger pit of mistake.

We fake it.

If you let your ego down a bit, you have to admit you fake it sometimes. because you're afraid of loneliness, self-pity and judgement from others. So you'll rather be caught out with a guy you don't really like, or someone you havent been talking to for years...or whatever. In essence, you pretend that you're in good company or a relationship you fundamentally don't believe in...just to fill that gap.

Which is so wrong.

I'm a self-proclaimed TV junkie, but i also happen to have an invisible set of principles i swear by. So if you ask me, i'm pretty inspired by that particular episode of Sex and the City. it really got me thinking if i should fake it or be lonely.

I guess if you know me well enough, you'll probably know my answer.


Signing off with XOXO,
Mat