back!

i'm back by popular demand...lol...as u can see, some of u just simply miss my blogging...wahaha.
suzy, u shud come find me at my workplace to know how it's like, then i can tell u the whole story...cuz it's like too much stuff for me to write abt....hehe

but on the whole, working was really fun as i get to know my colleagues better...they're really damn fun to hang around with. haha. so yes, i'm kinda enjoying it now already though i can get a bit frustrated when it's busy. nevermind all that, i'm getting used to it anyways....

just came back from genting and KL a few days back. it was an utter disaster...not only that i didn't get to take any of the rides [i couldn't even see my fingers in all that mist for the record], the indoor rides were mostly (uh-hm) dumb and let's just say even the dumb rides attract strings and strings of queue to my horror....but i can't blame them cuz the situation was kinda desperate. the only thing which was worth commenting abt was the Ripley's believe it or not museum and the KTV session with my cousins. THAT'S ALL. and abt the hotel accomodation.......i don't even wana think abt it man. just a sneak peak of what happened when we got our room keys: the rooms looked as though they were invaded by some natural catastrophe.....it was THAT bad....the trip to KL was no better of cos.....

So, i've already vowed never to step anywhere near these 2 places in the near future [at least not with a whole big group of ppl and definitely not during school holidays]....to begin with, i didn't even want to go...thanks to my dad's incessant bugging.... i had to take an unpaid leave....which means less $$ in my pockets. =(

enuf of the whinning....me huihua and glyn met up yesterday...we had a damn good time chatting and catchin' up with each other....we didn't really change much except for hh's hair color, glyn's make up and my brokeness despite havin a job...we ate at nooch and were greeted by pretty lousy service...but that didn't really bothered us cus we were more immersed into our conversation and our FOOD...lol. we walked to esplanade after that and sat at the roof top....we talked abt guys and how we should get a bf and stuff....but the conclusion is: it's never easy to find someone at this point in time...we somehow felt like characters from a certain American tv drama....haha.....as for me, i still have this feeling that i'm holding on to something though i really want to give it up already....sometimes it's just hard to be honest abt the way u feel....but whatever it is, only time will tell and who knows? i may just run into that someone one day.

which is better?

Yeah yeah...it's the same ol' boring line your folks always try to get in you-----"studying is so much better than working" i totally agree now......today is my long awaited "OFF DAY" after 8 straight days of work.not to mention the 6 continuous morning shift i've had. working is down-right tiring but there's always the fruits to harvest at the end of each demanding month.

some stuff are worth pondering over...like did i really got myself a good job? am i truly cut-out for sales? lol...i don't really care thou...it's temporary anyways...and i do think i'm doing alright at the moment. of coz, every profession has its quirks and ugly side.... like the other day, i served this pain-in-the-ass kinda customer who nearly made me puke blood all over....but its sales...so i'll just have to accept it with a wide smile.....besides, it's not as if i didn't expect such things... lol.

the worst thing abt all these is that i'm actually growing fatter.....my gawd....i don't know why....shouldn't i be slimming down cuz of work? it's like a reversal man. i actually ate more than before! i take 4 meals a day since i started working in the afternoon...lol!!! tt's a record...and my pending excercise regime, i don't even wana think abt it... even the thought of it makes me feel lazy....see, my laziness isn't just skin-deep.....lol...it's much much more. haha...as for tV...i only get to watch the less interesting ones when i get home...and of cos, the vcds.....kinda lifeless....but all it takes is some getting used to...then all the dread will be history...

i'm slowly getting used to it already....and some funny stuff happened during my work which helped brighten up the monotony of the job...and then there's the easy going and sometimes wacky colleagues of mine....hmmm..its like i'm beginning to like my job.

oh no, straying from that topic, my dad is so serious in psycho-ing our whole household to get the flu-jab tonight!!!!!! aaawwwww.......can he just give us a break??? or not, just me....gimme a break can??? i don't need another reason to traumatise myself now....and for crying out loud, it's supposed to be my OFF day!!! why can't he just let at least ME of????? boooohooo~~~~~ k come to the bottom of it all, i'm just afraid of the needle.....i really am.....cuz it's been quite some times since i last got poked by it.....not that i don't understand his efforts...but the thing is......i'm really scared of injections??? and it's not just me, my mum is too.....so please please let us off can???? CANNOT....he confirm will make us go take it...tt's it lah...end of me..... tml i'll report to work with a sullen face and a swollen arm....boo!!!

dedicated to the millenians...

My beloved friends from MI....

i suddenly feel like writing something about each of my millennian friends...since we're all going our seprate ways now, maybe it's time i shud write something about some of the friends i'm more familiar and closer with....

1* Ng li Rong aka Banana aka lili aka Mrs Fighter akaTai ke queen aka secretary of pte ltm & GMR: guess her nicknames are enuf to drown all the Tai kes in the world....lol. she's a real fighter in everyway, esp in terms of her academics...haha. such a genuine friend whom u can count on. My roomy for the Bintan retreat, my partner in crime (class) for 2 yrs and my tennis "coach"!!! hehe.....i always lament that ur handwriting sucks [thou it's kinda proven] *oops* BUT, you shud just see mine for the geog papers....they were appalling!!! haha... oh, thanks for showing me that "leng" face whenever i tell cold jokes....-_- and one more thing....your smile's the most unforgetable, really!!! [btw, suzy and rong comes in a package. the buy one get one free kind..cuz i knew her thru lili...haha]

2* Grace Kang aka streetlighter aka CEO of pte ltd & GMR aka HK paikiah aka gracey aka pineapple: her nicknames can fight with rong's BUT, haha! she's a whole diff character. if you don't know her, you'll think she's lethal...lol. but if u do, hmmm.....u'll be kinda shocked by her reactions lah...the way she climb on the bars when we take neo prints, the way she and me tried to annoy rong with the 5566 hand signs...the way she always TRY to laugh at my dumb jokes.....she's also someone with an undying passion for sports-esp HOCKEY....with that burning passion, i know she'll go far... and MAYBE, just MAYBE, we'll really be classmates again next time!!!

3* Weiling aka security for pte ltd aka peary : she's the most matured in thinking amg us all....whenever we get a bit lunatic and carried away with the dumbest things, she go "aiyo...ni men hor..." lol....tt explains that she hardly join in the craziness.....but tts a good thing too, cuz in case we get overboard, she can actually pull us back down to earth. hehe. kinda sisterly in some ways....and she loves her dog like me!!!! one more thing! she seems to be the most relexed one during our A's....and tt's kinda influential....

4* Dawn aka F&B exec: hmmm....think from the first time i met her, i thought she was quite a "gan cheong" person....but after 3 yrs....i still think she is, but much less already...hehe... maybe she's just more concerned with things unlike me, always think of the very unimportant things.... lol....n i tend not to worry abt sch work...OR u can say, "heck care"...lol. As a F&B rep, she nv fail to bring us food and snacks to binge on during our LONG and DREADFUL sch hours....haha....very generous indeed! think we're the only bunch who cannot stop eating in class...and sometimes, we eat very obviously in front of teachers when they're teaching....like we really have the right to like tt....lol!!! she's also a very very nice person to start off a conversation with cuz she's mature in her thinking too [i just can't seem to communicate well with immature ppl] haha. and did i mention how she looked on grad night? woohoo...tt was the best i've seen of her!! =P

5* Glynis Lee aka glyn aka "tie sha zhang" aka piggy: this girl is actually my first friend in MI....there's quite a LONG history behind our relationship and now we're still as good as ever...a couple of "i can't stand u n u can't stand me" in between but guess now we're more mature and not so petty already?? haha... if she craps, she REALLY craps....i mean, seriously, she can do the most [i don't noe], the 'please shoot me' kinda things that make u want to shoot her dead right away??? haha.... the ability only lies with her i guess...super farnee....and when it comes to singing, i think i've nv went on a kbox session w/o since i knew her...lol....she is quick to pick out the flaws in ur singing and sometimes i do feel like strangling her BUT! she 's not stingy on her compliments too.....in volleyball.....hai~ long story... i love and hate her altogether...lol!!! OK LAH, as for now, we'll still be great pals!!!

6* Huihua aka fishy aka janice: she'sreally someone whom i can have LONG chats with...esp the times we used to chat on our long ride home in 171.... time seems to fly by very quickly when we talk...lol...bitching is a must in our content and it makes the best ingredient for the entire trip...lol. u want good advice can always get from her...and thou she's younger than me by quite a few months, she acts more like an elder sis to me...[maybe cuz of my height?] wahaha. oh, she stands in tough competition with glyn for being a lamer....both of them need wheel chairs, not clutches.lol. the "bu pa" song has a hokkien version thanks to her....and she takes pride in it! haha....it's already kinda like our anthem already....the "beaching" trips to sentosa are really fun with her and the other girls....oh, and you shud look at her when she's in her bikini...*whistles*

7* Collin: BIG bro collin always treats me like a kid...lol...as in a younger sis maybe.... cuz he likes to disturb me...always call me "moomoo" when he sees me in sch and out.. but when his serious, i'll freak out! lol....similarly, when he's looney, i'll equally freak out! lol!! he's real genuine and once you know him, you'll get to see his TRUE self....he won't attempt to hide his emotions so if he's pissed with you, it's written ALL over his face...lol....lucky i nv piss him off before.... he drives us around sometimes, as in literally d-r-i-v-e. haha... he's also an indispensable k-box khaki!!!!seriously, his voice is so loud n clear that sometimes he doesn't need a mic!!! amazing.....and he is really a prospective singer to me. haha.

8* Jacky aka 俊男 aka my BESTY!!!: hmmm...what shud i say about this guy??? very sentimental, fairly sensitive, quite emotional, kinda indecisive at times but he dreams big! that's something i like abt him!!!! haha....though i really hope he can do what i can't...which is to stand on a real stage to perform [cuz i've got stage fright] haha, his courage and passion for singing is really inspirational...he used to be plagued with BGR probs....but he knows he can always count on me! haha...and other ppl lah....but what are besties for right?? i'll nv be too busy to listen when u're troubled....and i hope you can devote the same amt of effort in ur studies next yr, like how you prepared for ur comps...way to go jac!!!

who have i missed? hmmmm.......i don't noe leh...sorry if i've missed anyone!!! my eyes are real tired by now...took an hour for me to type all these cuz i gotta type and think at the same time....hope u all can appreciate my effort yah? and the reason ur name's up there is cuz u all left the greatest impression in me for the past 3 yrs...thanks for the joy and pain, laughter and tears....i'm really gonna miss ur...[which means we gotta meet up more often k?]

got a JOB!

I'm H-I-R-E-D!!!

At long bloody last....i've found myself a job...so now i don't need to browse the classifieds aimlessly. and i've realised....my days of futile efforts, religiously checkin out the recruit section for almost a week-----is kinda useless...and why would i say that? didn't i get my job from the ads? NO. it was outta pure luck and coincidence....the ads on the papers only led me to waste my time and concession fare.............lol.............So, the verdict- you should only partially trust the papers when it comes to job-hunting [however, that excludes executive positions of cos] :)

Curious on what job i've found? hehe.... it's at "accessorize" by monsoon---some UK fashion retail line......bet most of you know its boutiques....wana know more? visit http://store.monsoon.co.uk
i'll be at the Parco Bugis Juction outlet...so do drop by!!!.............and buy something!!! lol.

My work starts 1st dec, which means i can no longer slack as much as i'd love to.....In fact, i didn't think i've slacked enuf since after my A's.....hmmmm....lemme see, i've been so busy tryna finish watchin the vcds....job hunt.....sleep.....it's like, how do you even define the term "slack"? perhaps to me, it'll be a whole lazy afternoon, with just me, my couch, tv, and remote control. *thinks deeply* yeah, tt's what i call "slack"....the essence of it all will be channel surfing....muahahahaa.....so b-o-r-i-n-g. but i like!!!!

kay, today i had to go shop for my "uniform". gotta wear all black this time.....haha, but still hav2 wear black in style if not it'll be damn DULL...so i met Glyn at City hall...(she was going for perlini's silver interview btw-and she got it right away) actually i was called for the interview too but i did'nt go for it since i already got my job. after which we began our shopping spree...............

Though i love shopping and admit wanting to shop till i drop.....but it's not the case if i'm gonna shop for a purpose...it's dreadful to walk in and outta shops yet not being able to find the things you want. it's so shitty man! it's like whenever you wana find something you'll nv get to find it, and when you don't need something it starts appearing everywhere around you. i'm sure some of you may have experienced this situation day in day out. of cos...after hours of shopping, our feet and shin ached like there's no tomorrow..............and to think that some ppl even shop in heels......GOSH, what are they made of man? maybe they're legs are ran by batteries-who knows...lol.

Anyways, despite all the "PAIN" and "sufferings", i still managed to get the stuff i want. after all, it's still worth the while.......but i don't know when i'll ever get to do this again. sometimes, even the harshes things are worth cherishing. Besides, too much of a good thing will somehow be boring i think.

For now, let's just hope that the people i work with are pleasant and receptive......if not, the future entries may be dedicated for bitching.......[workplace politics are so not my cup of tea]. and i'm really not looking forward to that :) As for the pay......i'll see to that..... haha.... May everything fall into place nicely for me this dec...

David Tao: Love can world tour 2005

David Tao: Love Can world tour 2005!!!

wahaha...as you all know, i'm a DIE-HARD David Tao fan...i totally dig every of his song creation and though he's really not the type of star girls drool-over.....i'm head-over-heels in love with him. So, needless to say, i went for his concert!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! for the 2nd time! woohoo~

I can't deny the fact that i do worship those entertainment hunks like RAIN (my imaginary bf) lol, but David Tao is really someone i admire and look up to in the music industry...i can still remember the first time his song caught me. it was the re-make of an old song by theresa theng-"yue liang dai biao wo (shei) de xin"...that song was THEEE song that made me his life-long fan...lol...and then my imaginary "husband" haha...

the first concert 'SOUL POWER'....i was totally besotted by his voice...those songs which you dream a guy will sing to you...and his sincerity of bringing love at least to the audience that night will make you melt....it's like i bet those couples who went for it together feel so 'xing fu' when he's singing "ai hen jian dan".....

yesterday's concert was great but maybe cuz i've been for the first one, i expected something more....but unlike the previous one he din really sing every song completely...probably due to the new songs and a couple of old english songs he added in the performance... anyhow, the atmosphere was really good, thou it took some time for the audience to warm up--like say, 5 mins? lol..

and yeah, there's loads of local entertainers i saw, i can't remember most of them but i can recall seeing phyllis quek, sylvester sim, Olinda cho, the superstars (who sat way way behind me) wahaha...and some other not-so-famous- ones which i couldn't be bothered [oops]. =x

and then there's this 2 Ufm DJs sitting behind me....[btw, i was just like 5m away from the stage, at the side] quite near lah, but i hate the fact tt he din walk over...hmph! kay, anyway, the two DJs were like quite 'leng jing' thru out the concert...my goodness, even if they're public figures it wouldn't hurt if they just move with the music right?? (and that sly was sitting right in front of the stage but he simply refused to stand... some more its so damn freakin dark inside.....pls lah, david tao dont even know you...) bleah...some ppl....everytime i glanced to the back all i see was the 2 of them nodding their heads...like they're so repressed ..lol...but towards the end the other DJ couln't stand it anymore, so he was like the only one standing up to dance with the song...haha...

IF my mom had booked the seats 3 hrs earlier i could've been sitting nearer to the stage---but that's not the point. i'm more concerned with the fact tt i'll be sitting with the more HAPPENNING CROWD....my block was like a bit too reserved or too conservative...no one actually stood up even when he invited us to stand....lol...my sister and i so wanted to stand but it's like we're afraid that those ppl behind will start kicking our chair and ask us to sit down...haha...and it's pretty weird for jus the 2 of us to stand anyways... so we sat there thru-out but were busy cheering and singing our hearts out.

The worst part of the entire concert wasn't really the concert but it's tha problen of not being allowed to bring in our cameras!!!!!! ARGHHHH......which means i can't take pictures of my crooning prince!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hate it man! should've hid it in my sis' jacket b4 we go in. the last concert allowed cameras lor. in the end we resort to using our less than plausible handphones which we desperately tried to zoom but all the pictures turned out like crap....if not, i'll be like displaying all of them in a gallery for all to see...lol...

I've sort of vowed to watch every concert and buy every CD by David TAo...and that's not gonna change...he's made me love and appreciate good music [after yrs of blindly following the deteriorating pop culture]....and his songs are really influential if you really bother to read the lyrics......and i believe many who've listened to at least one or two of his songs will acknowledge his talent...the best part of all-----he pens every single one of his songs....(unlike SOME ppl)

....how talented can he get??? EXTREMELY talented.

the unfinished battle...

Hello my 'long lost' friends! i'm back!

i haven't been blogging like for how long? a month? neh...not so bad lah...lol. after such a long break i really don't know what to write man...not that i'm just blogging for the sake of it. i know i have lots of stuff in my head just that i couldn't sort them out in proper order.

okay, so the storm is finally abating...it's funny i don't feel as relieved as i ought to be...maybe because i knew i probably won't do as well...but there's nothing much i can do now so i'll just wait till judgement day next yr.

Alright...till i figure out what to write, i really need more inspiration......now i'm totally drained.

@kBox after grad night

@kBox after grad night....
poor jacky had to stay up late for us....lol.....[but no gays bugged him surprisingly]

ps; click on the pics to enlarge.....

Graduation....class of 2005

A Night to remember....

BUT, i still don't like the school and some people......

ps; the following pics can't enlarge...wana see go check my friendster photos k...sorry...

the nicest skin so far

Oh well....seems like i can't get enough of changing my blogskin. what to do? i'm a Gemini...my world is ever-changing....i can never really stick to the same things for too long. buthen there are always that certain lil' exeptions....

i ought to keep this skin for as long as i can...cos i really like it a lot man. and i realised i got faster and faster in the entire process.... higher productivity? maybe... but i gotta agree that practice makes puuurfect.. hee~

Today's my Granny's birthday celebration...which i just learnt of in the morning...how unfilial can i be? but after the assurance from my mom that she herself cannot recall the exact date, i didn't feel that bad lah... besides, i can't even remember my parents' birthdays accurately. it's always "um....25th?? no? 22nd?....oh i know i know...20........" and its like a habit already...

My mom's cooking up a feast in the kitchen and i can even smell the aroma of the braised duck despite the seperation of the closed door... Anyways, we're not gonna eat at home...we'll be going to my aunt's place at geylang this evening. ok, so much for the food prep and all...

I just wana say that i was truly inspired after chatting with my volleyball senior yesterday... i figured out at this point in time...the best motivation i can get is to actually sought advice from the people who've experienced the same situation as me before...

So glad to know that she got into NUS ---the haven where greener grasses grow...or so it seems... when me and my friends talk about it now...we came to agree that maybe even the shit smells better there [lol]. we can get real deluded at times...especially when the end draws near.
Back to the chat, i asked her how she coped with her studies...how to imrove GP at a phenomenal rate....how does consultation really worked for her n stuff...and not to mention the countless encouragement she gave me.... Really appreciated it! i even suggested that she could come down to our school for some prep talk next yr.

After recieving my less than ideal grades for prelims [thou my econs improved drastically], i've actually contemplated the possibility of achieving my desired goal of admittance into a U... But after the chat....i can really visualise light at the end of the tunnel... [so cliche]....and i'm quite proud to say that now i'm REALLY into my books....quite ironical to say this cos i'm supposed to be burried under my notes now...maybe i'll take the excuse of havin a break? yeah...sounds noble enough..haha.

Till then i won't say stuff like i'm not gonna blog cos of my A's cos i always break it...so, heck to that.... i'll still blog as and when i fell like it. and i'll continue to reply the tags!
tO my dearest fellow A'level warriors [lol]: We'll win a BEAUTIFUL battle if we want it bad enough!

Goodbye volleyballies

Can you all spot me?? wahaha...the pic is so tiny.

Anyways, have to say that we're really a crazy bunch. esp during trainings....
One common thing we share despite all the differences and conflicts we have as a team is that we truly miss the trainings we had together..[to the ppl in blue only] not to forget KOK LEONG!!! our coach...
we've experienced joy and pain....frustrations and injuries....but one thing we'll keep deep within us: the Volleyball Spirit!!! May the juniors keep this spirit of volleyball burning for as long as the sch survives [lol].

Some juniors may have misunderstood us for being a bit 'dao' or whatever....wait till you're in yr 3 and figure out you have sooooo many juniors whom you cannot possibly recognise....so don't be surprised we don't smile at you...besides, we don't even smile at our friends all the time...so pls don't always think we're unfriendly...cos u all really don't know us well....maybe Karin they all will understand us more..we can get so lunatic you won't believe it---tt is if we want to....
Plus, for all that 3 yrs of hardwork and 'sufferings' we do deserve some 'prestige' or respect ok.... we've had our fair share of problems in the team too.....but it doesn't matter already...

On a personal note, it's never easy to be a captain....and it's not as nice a label as ppl may think....i have to succumb to great shit for that extra CCA points on the leaving cert. Not that i'm complaining...but i do fell honourable to be one....i'm truly glad that some of my mates think i have the potential...whether or not they changed their minds after that i don't know...but as i've said earlier...it really doesn't matter already....at least, i thought i've accomplished a good half of what a captain should do....and if given a chance, i'll be better than i was....

Moving on, i'm sure we'll find our greener pastures in the future...be it in Volleyball or our studies....i'm looking forward to life after this...[i know we all are]. Take lotsa care and strive hard for now! Like the way we used to for the game.....[steady Ace!]

GMR-2004-2005

Dedicated to GMR. [please don't ask me what it stands for.....]

Thanks for all the great times....

*Tennis @ safra

*Pepper lunch

*Neo-prints

*The incessant bitchings....

-Love you all!-

the war is on

.........and the WAR is on!

after weeks of struggles, we've finally reached a conclusion. the extent of superficiality is utterly unbearable..... what's with the segregation? we're like playing some kinda game which we couldn't even tell what. it's become ever clearer to me that it's 'every man for himself'.

BUT, at least GMR is still intact and going strong [i hope]....yes we are....*coughz* i'm kinda tired of all that competition shit already....even if i really want to compete, what's the bloody point? the entire cohort's not just 24 ppl anyways....

the most ridiculous thing is that ppl have this spastic mindset like doing well='hao lian'. it's like 'what the fcuk?' a simple example will explain it all: highest score 15/30, all else fails except for one..... and you know what? this person has the line "I'M SO HAOLIAN" written all over his sick face...for goodness' sake, it's just a pathetic pass................get a life leh, as if he/she did it to piss all of us off.....if one scores well then good for him/her lah....what's with having this condescending attitude towards him/her???? if you can, do the same lor. you know, since when is it a crime to do well?? since you change the education system is it?

these ppl.....not that i wana say, their values are like one in a million. so full of themselves and filled with contempt....only evokes utter disgust in me....i'm so full now i don't need another reason to puke....

One very important thing i've learnt is that, should i EVER do well, i better keep all the joy and exhileration in my guts.....in case they label me as being PROUD. but honestly, who don't feel proud for doing well? i mean after putting in that extra effort and sacrificing hours of sleep, can't you just rightfully express your sentiments??? tt'll probably amount to murder in their very sickenning laws-if they were to impose any....maybe they disapproves of such actions because they've never tasted success in their lives...but whatever it is......to me they're nothing....the real threat tt i should be concerned with shouldn't be confined to just within the walls of the school. it's never that....

i may sound like i'm down-right mean....but seriously, i can't help it. i can't help if i offend anyone....i can't bloody help it if ppl treat me with disdain after reading this....you know, there's a lot of things in this world that cannot be helped. so if anyone don't like the way i am....whatever, i'm not accountable to you and your equally distorted world....you'll probably not see or hear of me again in your lifetime anyways.......so just read this and be VERY pissed...then you can quietly piss off too....=)

ps: this is NOT directed at GMR......whoever else who feels like i'm talking about you. MAYBE.

PRIDE & some other nitty witty stuff

CAN ANYONE PLEASE TELL ME WHY THE BLOGGER SITE IS IN CHINESE???

though i don't doubt my abilities in understanding or even reading chinese language, i do have a huge problem in trying to decipher the un-simplified chinese forms...as in "fan ti" words....

For one, it took me like 10+ mins to figure out the word "save"...it's like i feel so Cheena all of a sudden....well anyways, that's just crap and i still managed to blog so i'm not really gonna bother about it for now.

today's 'REST-DAY' for me so that explains the fact that i'm not gonna touch my notes... No, not that i'm not touching them- i still gotta re'arrange and file them over again. so you can actually imagine how much i loathe the period after exams....cos it's not exactly OVER for me yet....... and to my absolute horror, my physical geog notes alone was like more than 6 inch thick....excluding my human geog part which makes up a whole GEOGRAPHY subject in case it didn'toccur to you. so was wondering, 53 days left so how the hell am i supposed to conquer all that??????

now that i have time to do some reflection on how sinful i was for the past weeks, watching DVDs and stuff....[ i simply could not resist television ]...this huge sense of guilt was undeniably OVERWHELMING. sad to say, i wasn't as prepared as i thought i was for my prelims....and as if it wasn't bad enough....i suffered from a brain block during the econs essay paper.....

nevermind, no one should sympathize with me or offer any form of consolation....it's just like i'm plotting my very own downfall....too bad, i'm only human, i'm not infallible....i've got to put up with so much temptations [specifically tV] in life and sometimes i do fumble, i do succumb to all those negative influences. ------this is essentially MY form of self-consolation. lol.

Luckily, i do have a network of supportive friends around to give me the encouragement and advices i ought to heed but very seldom does so. BUT, i do appreciate those efforts. especially with the pte-ltd family...considering the fact that we're in IT TOGETHER....we MUST make it to UNI!!!!!! we're not gonna make promises now, we're gonna MAKE IT HAPPEN!!!!!!!

oh, to my beloved JIAYI....though u may not see this but i 'll still say it here....
HAPPY BE-LATED BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!! my dearest, grooviest sista ever!
[we're gonna take lotsa pics tml! and i can't wait!]

Again

Last night, i dreamt of him again....

we were back in school.
he looked me up.
held my hand.
and we never parted.
he told me he finally realised who he cherished most.
the answer i guessed but never ask.
maybe.
it maybe me.

i got lost in the crowd.
amidst the familiar faces.
they saw right through me.
i was lost not only from him.
i lost my heart. i cannot be calm.

then i searched around.
pushing through almost everyone in my way.
just when i was about to break down
just as i thought the moment of bliss was surreal
he stood before me. smiled. and took my hand again.
my heart sank. but was full.

we walked together.
hand in hand.
we never spoke.
the familiar scent i missed became everlasting.
the walk took forever.

what are we now.
together?
i cannot imagine it was true.
it never was.
dreams are never true to me.

why again?
when i'm busy and burdened with work.
he did not cross my mind.
not for a week.
why then the dream?

i vowed to move on.
yet i'm tied down to you.

Listen to my heart

listen to what your heart says....


what do you hear?


mine says i shouldn't wait cos even if i do

.....nothing's ever gonna happen.


now i'm tired.

Full house

FULL HOUSE.......love it! It's like the nicest korean drama i've ever watched....such a visual indulgence.....wahahaha......please go watch it and you'll get what i mean....*winks*

shit school, shit you

Sh*t school, Sh*t you [viewers' descretion recommended]

Lyrics by ( the two deprived-souls)

(Sing it with whatever tune you like cos we don't give a shit)

here goes....

what's the damn problem?
why's everyone looking like they didn't have supper?
his eyes are red
and her hair's not in place
i didn't sleep last night and i'm wide awake

where's all the good times?
they're left with nothing but a pack of lies
each mornings is
a bloody nightmare
i step into a school which makes me scared

i'm so doomed...
in this shit school
there're shit everywhere
people step on them like they just don't care

you're so doomed....
in this shit school
don't friggin talk to me now
i don't wana be
influenced by all the shit from you

-end-

i say: this song totally sucks......but i like.

believe it

Do you ever remember when people tell you that A'levels was hard?

BELIEVE IT.

it's even harder when you have a LOUSY tutor which brought my level of "TOH-lerance" to the brink.

i felt excruciating pain sitting through his class and the fact that i don't fall asleep is incredibly odd. Everyone seem to be in a daze, (some were staring at the screen, some were trying so hard to glean the slightest relevant information from the lecture. and yes, some like me, drifted away into a world of our own..........where tutors like him don't exist.)

All i need to do is to shut my eyes and *poof* it'll be bliss............. but thanks to the dose of coffee i had in the morning....i was wide awake.

i was desperately trying to make the best outta the lecture. Unfortunately, it occured to me that he wasn't really delivering knowledge to us....his very presence did the total opposite.

so he tried to explain the 'Sun Spot' to us....a simple theoretical term that explains the areas of the sun which seem dark to the naked eye. he could've done it in like 20secs? but no, he has to show us the tonnes of pictures he prepared. and after 5mins, i still don't get it. so i got frustrated and asked "So what's a sunspot?!" my tone was that of impatience but i probably echoed the sentiments my class was so dying to express but didn't felt like it. and then he "answered" me with another question.

For crying out loud, i don't know what he's teaching and the very fact that i bothered to ASK a question shows that i seriously don't know what's going on. so just answer the damn question. if i didn't need his help, i wouldn't ask. which part of "please fill me in" don't he get?

frankly, he could've saved so much time if he were more precise. and i mean P-R-E-C-I-S-E.

Why am i so so full agitaion and why am i so easily irritable????? we don't have much time left (less than a HUNDRED days) and he is the ONLY tutor who hasn't complete the syllabus, discounting our human geog which is only left with ONE lecture.....i really don't wana compare but i'm scared. i'm pinning my hopes on geog and he's increasingly making me feel that it's not going to work.

i'm so bothered.

my Secret wish......

Make a wish*........& keep the faith!

People tell me that once i disclose my wishes, then they'll never come true....i can't help but feel this way....cos i realised that there are more people out there who knows what i'm wishing for now...this is so scary.....

i won't write a wish-list because i'm afraid that these stuff will never happen...Besides, there weren't even Santa Clauses around for heaven's sake. i'm not a kid anymore and i know reality hits hard at you when you least expect it......i have long got-over the notorious boogey-man and vege-monster my mom used to threaten me with when i refused to sleep or eat the broccoli on my plate. yet there's still one thing i believe strongly in.....WISHES*

i don't exactly know if they were ever true but i'd love to believe so..... i still continue to make 3 wishes every year on my birthday....and they do come true occassionally....

then there's this strange thing we call "dreams".....what's the difference between the two?
i'm not too sure either. but i certainly have my reservations when it comes to dreams....

Can you imagine when someone says to you "may all your dreams come true"? that's pretty evil to me.....what if you have had nightmares for the previous nights? or what if you dreamt that someone you know died?? these are all 'Toxic Dreams' man.....what an oxymoron......
dreams are supposed to be pleasant and are usually used for well-wishing....but you don't just dream nice stuff do you? what about the times where you dreamt of yourself being chased by some monsters you don't even know exist.....? and the dream that portrayed you failing your tests??? that's why my hair always stands on ends whenever someone said that to me....

Not that i'm a victim of incessant nightnmares ( the ratio of sweet dreams over nightmares are much higher), but none of mine ever occured in reality........
slowly, i realised, dreams are only images which i subconsciously create on my own...and it's proven......

wishes, to me, can be sinful as well.....sometimes when i get so irritated by some people i do secretly wish they were dead....so mean........yes, i know.....but it's like a reflex to me....that's just out of impulse.....haha.....i confess.....i do make truck-loads of 'Dangerous wishes'....what if i have the power to make them all come true? haha....then i'll make Bill gates give me all his inheritance!!!!! wahahaaa....then blah blah blah...but i won't wana take over the world....i'd rather ask for world peace.....hhahahaa....and there're the times when i wished i didn't make the choices i made, or if i owned the ability to buy time.....and the list goes on....

well, i'm a simple girl....i won't ask for much....i just hope that this secret wish of mine will come true.....and i'm definitely keeping the faith*

So, to all my beloved friends out there who're still full of hopes.....Hang-on! you'll never know when your turn will come...

muffyboy

Introducing...........MuffyBoy!!!!!! the Clean-shaven "long-coat" chihuahua!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Isn't he adorable......???? In the picture, that is.....(Muffyboy, aka the lil monster.....lol)

Muffy doesn't know where the camera is this time.......

Before......he looks like a girl with long coat....but the good thing is, he don't need to wear a shirt to keep himself warm unlike now.....hahaha

i can't bloody believe it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"i can't bloody believe it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I tell you......i'm so mad, so frustrated, so freakin' moodless now cos i missed Friday's Smallville episode!!!!! ARGHHHH...u noe i was so damn lookin forward to it cos i wanted to watch Lex Luthor on TV (yes i'm immature for now).... so i happily grabbed my Ruffles chips and sat on the sofa comfortably....and guess what's on tv????? EXTREME MAKEOVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (can you imagine the horror??!!)

So i screwed up the timing again and it's supposed to be at 8.30....FINE.....after a whole weeks' wait....extreme make over?!?!??!?! *PUI* my eyeballs nearly sprung out of their sockets..... no Lex Luthor nevermind....not even ONE cute guy or what....for record, there aren't even any decent looking fellas shown on tv.....so much for a stressed week....i see ugly and distorted ppl waiting to get their faces cut, which i think, didn't make much of an impression after all...ok sorry, not that i have anything against them or plastic surgery...i'm just tryna vent my frustrations on the stewpid programme..... oh c'mon, AT LEAST one tree hill????? nono, i won't even mind malcom in the middle.............

But i can see where this is getting....i have this real huge problem with time and dates since the june holidays...and i've been screwing up the sequence of events since then...very disorganised, very dysfunctional...yes, i'm Acutely disorientated....for one, i didn't even know what time was my first mid yr paper and i actually woke up at 5.45 in the morning and got changed for school...then i took out the timetable to double confirm....i was in total dismay, yet was quite relieved too...cos it says 12pm......then i called my friends to ask....and sure enuf, most of them were either sleeping or didn't even turn on their phones...ok great....i simply laughed it off and went back to sleep..am i THAT blurr? or am i just plain jaded............

AND that was not the end of it. A couple of more screwed-up things happened and i'm seriously concerned if i was that driven by stress....i get ppl reminding me about dates and timing these days and i actually feel kinda sorry for myself...if i can't even get the simplest of all things right...how am i supposed to achieve greater things??? and NO, i don't wana mess-up my A's....i'd rather be shot...

i just hope that in future i can safely adhere to my plans...at least until after my A's???

Anyways, maybe i should just forget about watching tV altogether to save myself from contemplating suicide everytime i missed my fav programmes...is it THAT serious? yes.(at least to me)

By right, i was supposed to abstain myself from tV already!!!! so maybe that was a hint that i shouldn't be watching tV anymore.....ok, i'll try hard.....but there're still a couple of MUST-SEEs like the CSI Finale, Project superstar (i have so much criticisms for it but i don't know why i'm still hooked...i'm just plain k-po.) and blah blah blah....hehehe...so much for my will power lor...

oh well, i'm trying so hard now and am still surviving (surprisingly)...the thing is, i don't just wana hover at the brink of success....i wana savour every part of it....So, if anyone ever find that i'm rather apathetic towards anything.....i'm so sorry...but i assure you it will only take 3 months... =)

Celebrating our 5 yrs of friendship and counting....

*Jane aka coolbabe and i enjoying our irresistable wafer ice cream and choc fondue (top)

*The babes savouring a sumptuous lunch at Fin's...look at those chips!!! (bottom)

*Free ride anyone?? we're on our way to Haagen Daz for dessert!!

*where's jiayi? oh, she's busy dipping into the fondue of cos....

The good times.........

Cheers to our everlasting friendship!!!! i love you all!!!!

Guilty pleasure

Guilty Pleasure....

"For some who do not or absolutely cannot find anything addictive about the pleasure of splurging, then why are there millions of women in the world so eager to part with their money for things which they do not essentially need? Shopping IS indeed that fascinating.

Though this sounds annoyingly biased to some extent, i still gotta agree that girls are girls...even if shopping do not involve literal monetary transactions, it is still a form of indulgence to us. this is what i call Visual Indulgence......we cannot totally ignore the fact that window shopping can actually broaden our horizons toward style and fashion.

For me, i just simply cannot help feeling euphoric at the idea of tossing out the things i bought from a day's shopping spree, to admire....(Ahhhh...the contententment i feel is indecribable...). haha.

but i gotta admit that window shopping does also pains me a great deal cos that means i won't be able to bring anything home. and that sucks big time.

that's why i made it a point to at least get something whenever possible, especially when i'm in town. for the record; i'm really NOT rich, and the things i buy ain't expensive either..."

Shopping: will be permanently ranked top 3 on my must-do list! Satisfaction guaranteed!!!

dear bloggie.....

Dear Bloggie......

i'm now left with the last paper (lit p2) and i have quotes to memorise but i don't feel like it. AT ALL.

i miss the babes so much.

i still haven get my b'dae prezzies from some ppl yet *hint* *hint*

the stewpid webtune in my blog has got virus. (don't worry, it's not contagious)

i haven't been sleeping enough these days.

i eat too much.

i ate a lot of junk the past few weeks.

my hair needs trimming.

i'm reading cleo now instead of my notes.

i'm running outta things to write but i must write something cos i don't wana get "the most neglected blog" award for this month...lol

...this is what happens when my inspiration runs dry.....

new skin...

ta-DA!

my brand new skin.....not too impressive though....

it took me half a day to choose it. but it's not the nicest of all lah..plain is good.

enjoy the song! (turn on the volume thingy)

cheers*

from friendster....-cut & pasteD-

(Cut & pasteD from friendster)

5 years and still counting....

i'm so afraid that he'll see this yet i secretly wished he would. so what if i really wanted him back? what's done, is done.

"All these years i thought i've gradually grown out of the relationship but i was wrong. instead of him taking a back seat in my head, those memories have instead become clearer than ever.... you know, people always say you'll mature as you grow...yes, tt's what's happening to me, but it only makes me wonder if he is really that important a figure in my heart. it's like, even as i moved on, and have had my fair share of relationships after him.....i never felt that i was in love. honestly, from the depth of my senses.....there's just something missing which i cannot make out what. sometimes i can't help but think that i was trying so hard to fill in what's missing that i lose myself along the way.

And with every passing relationships, i felt tt i became worse than ever. in fact, i've let everyone of them down...cos ultimately, i knew i haven't let him go. of cos, tt's something i'll never have the courage to admit...i guess most of my close friends have guessed it. i simply can't find a better replacement (or maybe i don't want to)
then why end it in the first place? i know it sounds cliche but it's always when you lose someone then you learn to treasure him/her. the thing is, maybe if we were still together i would've taken him for granted. you wana know why i ended it....i'll tell you i don't know why either....i can actually delude myself to the fact that it was purely peer pressure but who am i going to fool? if only i had the chance to explain. and if only i was given the chance to.

All's too late. tt's not something hard for me to understand. which is why i understood the reason for him to hate me so much these few years... i don't know if he really hated me for what i did though. but if i were in his shoes, i would. i really wana know how he felt.....the sad thing is i didn't even get to talk to him. maybe circumstances just didn't allow tt to happen.

For now, i really want to say this: i don't know what love was and what it's like to be loved until i had him....the fact tt i didn't cherish him the way i should made me regret it deeply...but i want him to know tt that what i took away with me were great memories. no one but him makes me smile when i think abt the past. he's like part of who i am, always with me through my hard times, and when i accomplish something great, i'd like to share it with him....he's also part of the reason why i push myself hard in achieveing my goals---all these kept me going even as i walk alone now. i wana see him again someday, no matter what he'll feel towards me."

i know it'll be worth the wait...

taggies

when bitches and bastards start calling others that...

1) there are enough animals with them around. and we don't want a free membership either

2) they speak like they don't have a brain. cos they're like animals. (even my dog understands the word shut up....do you?)

3) even if they do comment, they only produce words they know like "bitchy" and "bastards"..oh, and maybe a few directive words if their brains allow the space for storage

4) they so-delude themselves to the fact that they're actually functioning like A human...and the only way to prove it is to outperform....(sure....no one's competing with you if you realise)...and the outcome???? you're are still very much outcasted.

5) they think highly of themselves being able to slam others in the tagboards....i applaud so.....cos i seriously have never come across non-human beings who are able to do that.....good effort! oh, but do brush up on your vocab...i see you're running outta words to write. maybe you should resort to your animal instincts like pouncing on people?

6) the way they were so quick to judge one as a "bitch" somehow reflects the way they are too.... maybe tt's why they called others that cos they din want those people to follow in their footsteps.so kind hor.....

7) the most significant thing about them: they don't have names like we humans do. i can give them one----"idiots"..yes, the idiots tt i mentioned in my previous entry...i've never found anyone fit so nicely into it before.


....& before "you" become a nuisance to the society and to all mankind, you may want to perish along with your unsubstantiative comments about your human-counterparts.we didn't ask for comments and we will never wana recognise your existence...

when my inspiration runs dry

Are you an idiot?

It's funny how we always have so much things to say whenever we come across anything new, ridiculous or provoking...it's like, especially when something seems nothing but a pool of dung to you....
it's kinda difficult to explain this but i'm sure someone out there will get me...people are just opinionated and when they don't get the gravity of the situation, they become biased....i hate this but reality is THAT disgusting...

all it takes is for an idot to say something which is equally idotic....the tongues will start to wag.

the even funnier things is, these idiotic people tend to be deluded by their own idea of themselves...they live by the ideals that subconsciously develop in their minds. to them, that's what makes them different, and "special". But the ugly thing about this is; these percieved "ideals" that they live by are not really very admirable either.....( it's no wonder that people have so much to say about them ) in fact, they're in dilemma most of the time; to accept criticisms may actually make their world crumble.......the morale built so high and are so protected but their friends and families will be reduced to nothing.

One moment you're put so high on the pedestal, the next you're down and under. simply because there are people out there who don't appreciate you....or worse, they don't find anything appreciatable about you. so sad. but seriously, don't it explains something?

in most cases, these people simply go on with the lives, dismissing the fact that they need changes---real badly.

and then there's this insignificant group of sadistic beings who disapproves of your very existence because of "the green monster" living in them....which they will never ever bring themselves to admit because they're constantly in search of reasons to free themselves from this guilt....that's pretty pathetic too. and coincidently,they almost bear the greatest resemblance to the idotic people as mentioned earlier.....

The world is yours for the taking; so take it.....no one's gonna deprive you of your choice to live in an eggshell.....so by all means.......but someday, just someday.....it will crack.

hmmm, and who am i to criticise? i'm not, i'm just evaluating what most people will want to avoid....because i acknowledge the many flaws i see in myself and others; because i know self reflection is an essential in life. does that make me an idiot as well? maybe. (at least i know a lot of true idiots out there will think so)

new chapter...new beginning

Sweet 19.....and my dissipating youth...


Okie Dokie...now tt everything's more or less settled...i'm happy again....not tt i wasn't before but now tt nothing's really bothering me, i can finally concentrate on the more important things....

to all who've wished me happy birthday....THANK YOU ALL!!!!!! really appreciated it.

6 months to go but it's never too late to start anew right? yep...honestly, i sincerely hope tt things will really turn out for the better...be it in terms of friendship or my studies...
someone once told me: when a situtaion seems to be coming to an end, it's really the beginning of it.....and it applies to everything.

guess i've done enough procrastinating already. i'm still painstakingly trying to learn but how long will i take? at least i'm done with the friendship part... for my studies---i'm desperately trying....

why am i always lamenting about myself? it's the last of my teenage yrs and here i am not one bit looking forward to it......somehow something's missing...

.....the little element of hope and faith that i can hardly get from him....i'm just plain insignificant and easily forgetable....?

to me, you meant the world and beyond....


*till we meet again, the last of my birthday wishes will always be you*

lotsa prezzies!!! & some food for thought

yay~ it's just another enjoyable day cos' huihua came over and brought me lotsa prezzies.....hmmm, not a lot actually but it's still enough to fill my contentment..wahaha.. she uploaded her pics and told me quite a lot of "interesting" stories from her trip though i could actually speculate the details....

and yep, i showed her my Zen Neeon....and she said she's gonna get one too..maybe purple or something...whichever it is....it still rawks!!!

oh! another thing i have to add...huihua just helped me to prank call ZJ!!!! OMG, i was so close to passing out but at the same time was oh-so exhilerated the moment i heard his voice...for a second i thought it was really him, but then again he sounded much more 'ang moh', so i was quite suspicious....(the thing is i haven't actually heard his voice for more than 3 yrs...) well anyways, she called again cos i wanted so badly to reassure myself hat it was him....then it happened again! i got pretty hysterical and couldn't really contain my excitement...for the first time since i don't know when, i felt such a great adrenalin rush........and then it was over...........
it's hard to imagine how a few seconds can really make my day.....this is,essentially something which i can never ever bring myself to do...to even call him and say hi or whatever.....it will probably kill me to even speak a word to him. there's just this layer of "vacuum" in between us that will never seem to disappear...or mayeb it's just me...i know my problem but it's hard to change. i am not afraid to overtly proclaim that i still do have strong feelings for him but when it comes to letting him know....it's like never gonna happen....i'm that ironic....

okay, now about the more pressing issues----i've been doing some deep thinking on my current state....i'm not really stagnant in my revisions but more like progressing in a retarding rate....and i really don't know what i can do about it man....it's like everytime i thought i was so geared-up and all ready to bury myself in notes, i screwed up....i kept walking around the house, get distracted by the people walking around me...i was even close to boring myself to sleep when i stared at the notes for too long...the worst thing is, i couldn't help it at all......~sigh~ my mid yr's coming and i've never felt this troubled before...it reminded me of the times when i was preparing for my O's....in fact, i think i wasn't even as clear-sighted than i was before...though i really think i'm under much duress for producing good grades (thanks to my parents, of cos), i know it's for my own good too....

"...i will never be able to look myself in the mirror at the end of the day and tell myself that i've done my best when i know very well that what i percieved to be the best is not enough...." -Mat-

my DROP-DEAD gorgeous Zen neeon!!!

i'm so bloody happy and i'm totally over-the-moon now cos i just got my zen neeon today!!! yay~~~this is my first mp3 player apart from my sis' ipod shuffle....but guess what? mine can shuffle too lor.....wahahaha this is gonna make her so jealous...the look on her face was like green when she got into the car..haha but fret not sis, i lend it to you if u ever ask...hehe finally the 'long' wait is over...or so it seems....hahaha. i've been buggin my dad for one since i saw it in CLEO....

oOoOoo~~~ it's so slick, groovy, pretty...whatever u call it man.... i chose a bronze one cos it's quite close to brown (one of my fav color)....i actually wanted red but it looked like orange more...the bright colors are nice too but i think i prefered darker ones...i totally dig it man!!!

and it's not as if i can get if i asked for one....it's plainly a birthday gift from my parents....kinda like a *hint* too....like i'll have to drown myself in my stacks of notes for the next half of my holidays to make my results look presentable....ok! for that, (and for the benefit of the society....uh, ok, not exactly tt....more like for myself).....i will walk tt extra mile!!!!!!

i'm not gonna promise anyone that....cos i'm gonna do it and i will!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! jiayou!!!!!!!!