Girl next few doors

a guy friend of mine just commented that i have the girl next few doors look. man.... i felt a sudden rush of chill down my spine in that one splitting moment.

no, he isn't into me. lol. cus i was telling him about the computing guy in our tutorial [the one i am still secretly admiring]. then he asked me when am i going for him but i was like "no, siao ah!"

don't blame me, it's like a reflex. things like that blurrt out unintentionally from me sometimes. but honestly, my other self is really prompting me to be proactive. then again at times when i don't feel that jaded, i don't feel a need to get involved.

yet the stupid stupid me still checks out his friendster account now and then to reassure his single status. Seriously, what am i doing?

Girl next few doors? that's not too bad for the record. at least i'm not like the girl downstairs or in the basement...or even the dustbin. lol.

and coincidently, jiayi and i were chatting about being a real SOCIAL BUTTERFLY cus Geminis are supposed to be like one. FYI i am the latter but i'm not so sure about the former. if you mean entertaining my own friends then yes. but i'm really not the sort who goes around tingkling wine glasses with strangers.

i can be siao and 3-8 with my close friends but it's a whole different story with people i'm not that close with. sure i can try entertaining them but i'd just feel damn sian at the end of the day. i like the feeling of comfort with people i'm familiar with...maybe that's precisely why my social circle hardly extends beyond friend's friends.

i cannot break the so-called chasm between making friends with my friend's friends and complete strangers or the people like. asking me to be proactive is like asking a frog to jump out of a metre deep well.

maybe one day, i'll be desperate enough to take that leapt.

for now, let me just stay in my comfortable next few doors. haha.