my AP and I

i haven't been reflecting much these days. as you can, i've been ranting about nothing most of the time.

AP stands for attitude problem [if you're still struggling to catch].

actually, i think most people don't see my AP-side. only some does. and that precious some are really magnanimous with me. that, i really appreciate.

of cus, it's not an excuse for me to take that for granted. but sometimes i do, like yesterday. but like i said, i do reflect.

just yesterday, i was chatting with my bestest bestest bestie. and she could just sense how AP i was in an instant. in fact, she saw through me as an AP person since secondary school....i was kinda rude to her. my threshold for annoyance isn't usually low and it wasn't PMS. so i don't know what came over me.

i don't know why but i think i stepped into my semester on a wrong foot. it's just not right for me. and i'm like losing heart in everything. a lot of supposed 'worries' and 'problems' surfaced and it felt like my system's gonna crumble. damn it. it must be the school-reopening blues.....

as usual, a problem is never a problem to her. so i got a bit annoyed. and she say i got AP. and i got even more annoyed cus i don't like to hear stuff like that when i'm annoyed. but true friends...like she always said, stabs you in the front.

they'll tell you all the things you hate to hear, but are also at the same time, truths about yourself which you've been struggling to admit.

so i didn't wana talk abymore and went offline. it's times like this, where i really hate myself. cus i know for a fact that i've been an asshole to someone i care about.

and after reading one of her posts, it only made me think how immature i was cus nothing's really a problem and there's nothing to worry about actually. it's just the way you see things. sadly, the way i saw things for the past week, is all topsy-turvey and SKEWED.

OKAY, so i must learn to be rational and stop brooding over nothing.

By the way, i don't just display AP before everyone. if you haven't seen the AP side of me yet, there's a reason. cus we're not that close. lol. anyway, it's not like i'll deliberately hide my true self it's just that it's too easy to be an asshole and make enemies, so i'd rather make more friends...i like the sound of it more.
;)

True genuine friends...one or two enough already. cus honestly, not everyone can take my shit and still appreciate me for what i am.

so for that, thanks LCB. for stabbing me so hard. haha.