You must be thinking "why this girl so free these days..." right? let me tell you, life is damn hard man...i don't know how to make it as a person anymore. i don't blog you all say i never blog, i blog more frequently you all ask me "you have nothing to do is it??". so how? cannot blog lah? but i like leh....lol. my gosh, i shall control my generosity in singlish...haha.
CNY is just like what, 2 weeks away? if anything, it's the clothes that matters to me when it comes to preparations. hohoho. and OF COURSE, who can ever forget about the decorative stick-ons....at least not my mom. and the best way to get yourself in the mood, just get your lazy butt somewhere crowded and you'll be greeted with cny songs you've heard a trillion times in your lifetime. from the old-school versions to the head-spinning techno ones....WHICH I TOTALLY LOATHE.
anyways, let me enlighten you on my very own definition of 'DA XAO CHU': just throw away old stuff and buy more new stuff. why do i need to clean my home when it's been cleaned every other day? besides, if i attempt to grab the mop and start mopping the floor, i may find my poor maid crying in fear at some corner thinking she'll be sent home tomorrow. seee, that's why i shouldn't. HAHA. i'm not being spoilt can...this is just my style of being extremely practical and considerate - let her do her job cus we did PAY her.... and anyways, my house has 2 mops, i don't even know which is for which...so better not. LOL.
okay, i know you don't really wana read about my mops. so let's just talk about something else...maybe like my windows.... HAHAHHAHAA...
NOW, you all can start concentrating on this part of my entry cus it's all serious. [i can't believe i wrote 3 big paragraphs of nothing].
i feel really sad for my cousin. she's a brilliant woman, she's only 30, she has her career in her hands working for Esprit and then a marketing head for BreadTalk recently. She's one i really look up to in my family. HOWEVER, i just got news that she quited her job cus of depression. before you think that stress over the job is the biggest factor for her decision, it's actually something else. no doubt stress did contribute a great deal, it's never the only reason.
a broken marriage, a cheating husband. the fact that he's coming back from China this cny haunts her more than any nightmare. i can see why... if it's me, i wouldn't be able to face someone i've loved so much, whom i gave my whole heart to, who also happens to break it like it wasn't there in the first place. it's just sad. she's always strong, has her own mind, yet this forced her to breaking point. a total absolute waste, but i can understand nevertheless....
as her sister (my other cousin) told me and my mom over a chat today about how she broke down before her parents, and finally confessing about her husband pregnating another woman....i just teared. i'm crying because i'm f*ing pissed with that arse, and also cus i realised not every relationship is so nicely packaged like those on tv. i know there are exeptions but because this example is just so close to me i can't help but wonder what will be like for me or the ones i love.
marriage is an unpredictable thing. you don't know what you'll expect, really. maybe i'm too young to talk about it, i'm not even close to getting hitched. but if you ask me, if i ever have to choose between my carreer and husband, if i do love him that much, if he really has to go, i will go too. i didn't understand this until my dad i had a chat. like he always says, "somewhere someone has to give up something, because if you choose to marry that person, you're already no longer on your own." i thought it's all just prep talk, and i've never in my umpteen nightmares believe a broken marriage can actually happen...until this....
..some mistakes can be ammended, some love can be rekindled, and some relationship can be salvaged. but we also can't deny that some actions can never be forgiven. certain things are like this, if he's asking for forgiveness, he may get it, but if he's expecting people to completely erase them, it's impossible. and don't even expect her to look at him and smile politely like it never happened, because it did. and you know what she'll always remember from this? not the fact that he's such a cheating bastard, but the fact that she wasted so much time and effort and unfaltering trust on him.............it's not about the stupid choice he made, but the stupid choice she made.
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