Episode: i don't need a boyfriend...

....or do i?

honestly, i don't really care. but i hope i'll have one after 21.. it's only natural right? it scares me cus even one of the most unlikely friend i know is at the verge of being attached... *i'm happy for you, fret not.*

i shall not lead myself into some mindless reminisence on who i adored most from then till now...or who i haven't let go...it's a phase, i know. but because i'm older [seemingly], i've learnt to keep things in my heart. an occasional recollection with the right kinda song does it... and tomorrow, i'll wake up on my own again.

so it's not hard to guess what valentine's day means to me. in fact, i've never spent one with a guy before...lol. i wonder why... maybe i'm just unconciously trying to save it for someone special next time, or whatever. maybe i just don't have the luck and all...

for one, i'm really quite a quirky person. i sort of can't imagine anyone who'll like a girl like me. that's not to say i'm helplessly horrible or something. but sometimes i really wonder... cus i'm uninteresting [well i can be if i try hard enough...], i've kinda lost interest in pleasing people or even attempt to put the best of me before a guy. in other words, i'm just disinterested. i'm not enthusiastic in making male friends, perhaps. it's quite tiring to make someone understand you or even like you...it's a super long and dreadful process. plus, i don't look fantastic. so i probably don't fit into the category for consideration of shallow-metrosexual guys either. watching too much tv doesn't help...it pretty much makes things worst.

it's the same old stupid story...the guy you like doesn't like you/the guy you like has a girlfriend/the guy you like has a trashy girlfriend yet he still sticks to her/the guy you like hates you/the guy you like doesn't even know you exist. and sadly, the guy you like always hangsout with pretty and confident girls. NOW YOU KNOW WHY I'M DISINTERESTED?!

No chance, no luck, no hope.

so my beloved friends/sisters....if you don't have a boyfriend this V-day and you feel cold and lonesome, if you think the sight of lovey-dovey couples irks you, or even the smell of roses irritable...i'm just an sms away. [don't call me cus my incoming calls not free].

wait...i do have a plan B!

i can spend it with muffy.

Grosteque scale for Valentine's Day: ***** [ it's self-explanatory]