Recently i was told by a friend that i'm like the female-version of him. Obviously when i heard that i got really pissed, like why the hell do i have to be like anyone else?? i wana be ORIGINAL, because i am original in my own perceptions. But then again when i sit and think about what really makes me original, what is the single most striking difference that's enough to rebut his claim (besides my biological making), i couldn't think of any.
Am i really that dull, or unoriginal? i still don't think so. but i do have a revelation. yes, yet another revelation - that i don't know myself too well after all.
Sometimes i get so caught up with what i want to be and what i want to be known as that i unknowingly compromise what i really am. I pay too little attention to the little things i do when people aren't around. I'm not that nice, i'm not that smart, i'm not BOTHERED.
I say i hate facebook and it's billions of retarded applications. I can't be bothered with them and i wonder why anyone else did. well, at least they bothered. I'm just too aloof to believe that any of that application is of any use and meaning. Take the 'Notes' application for example, people write 25 notes about themselves, they might have more. I struggled with coming up with even 10 in half an hour. at the end of it, i just felt sad and sorry and really empty cus i finally realised how unoriginal i was. One, for playing along with the application. Two, for the list of unexciting information that 80% of whoever i tagged already know.
And i wana admit something - sometimes i say i don't care but i actually do. That's directed at one of the 10 things i wrote in the notes.
What is there not to care anyways if it's about me right? Let's just say i really mean it if i repeat it more than 3 times, if you get what i mean.
It's nice to be reassured once in awhile. I need it. cus i need to know why i've been missing out for so long. Tell me what i am, if you really care.
I'm really curious.
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