i hate rejections, i really do.

tell me about it man, i'm like the Queen of rejections [on the receiving end that is].

despite being rejected by this particular guy like what, a dozen times? i still can't bring myself to hate him. like how dumb can i get? the first time i thought i'm gonna die, the 2nd time, my whole world's gonna crumble....the 3rd, maybe i should really DIE. lol....

..now, i'm resolved to think that i'm better off without him. i honestly did used to think that if there's anyone i'm gonna be with, it HAS to be him. and it took a really long time before i finally take him outta the picture.

then again, he's not exactly out of the picture. he never fails to serve as a reminder of how dumb i am.

until now, i still think part of me can't get over him. but i am moving on. at least i try to....[i HAVE TO after 7 years right?!] if i cry, he'll never come back. if he did see me cry, he will also never come back. so it's only logical if i deal with it myself right?

i know it's torturous to meet someone you like almost everyday, but what about spending a whole week in a camp with your ex in your group? you get to see him the first thing you wake up morning, you play games together, you even get to hold his hands....yet he also makes you cry. how the hell do you think that felt? somehow, you know he hates you, but you still love him..isn't that worse?

i could've so leapt off the rock wall and DIE. the most biting pain of all would be how he's so polite to you...man, the cruelty of his politeness is indescribable.

i know different people go through different types of rejection. but at the end of the day, you sit yourself down and measure the things you've lost and gained in the process....it may look like this;

-i lost a potential love, but i gained myself a good friend and i get to hang around him all the time, he won't hate me, we can still go for classes together, he won't ignore me on msn....etc etc.

and if you think about it, the loss u suffered is not even really a loss.

...yeah if only love is all that logical...BUT, when all else fails, you gotta come back down to earth and deal with it the best logical way.

i took my time to learn, maybe you all should too.

my advice: love yourself a little more cus it's not all about him, it's about you =)